Sweeney Todd and Friends go to Therapy
by DeppFreak99
Summary: This is just a story of what would happen if Sweeney Todd and other characters came to a current day therapist in my imagination. Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1: Sweeney TOdd

**Chapter 1: Sweeney goes to Therapy**

Sweeney sighed as he walked through the door that read 'THOMAS' THERAPY- SOLVE YOUR PROBLEMS!!'

"_I can't believe I have to do this…" _Sweeney thought to himself as he reluctantly dragged himself through the door.

"Hello sir! How are you?" the therapist asked gleefully, not noticing the hard, cold glare that greeted him. "Sit down, sit down. Please do."

Sweeney rolled his eyes and did what the man told him.

"So sir… what is your problem you would like to talk about?" The therapist asked Sweeney hesitantly, now noticing the permanent glare his client wore.

"Well… I have an obsessive addiction to killing people, for one thing. And my whole life was taken away from me years ago," Sweeney started off, waiting for the therapist's response.

"Mmmmhm…ok." The therapist muttered while scribbling things down on his notepad. _'Oh great, another crazy thinking he's a murderer!" _The therapist thought, still looking down. "By the way, you may call me Dr. Codcen," he therapist continued.

"Ok…Dr. Codcen-I also sing while killing these people. How can I be helped?"

"Hmmmm, have you tried to stop, Mr. Todd?" "Yes."

"Maybe keep yourself from knifes and other weapons for a while?" "I'll try that, thank you, Dr. Codcen. I will. And feel free to come anytime for a free shave. I guarantee it'll be the closest shave you will ever know," Sweeney replied, a smile coming to his lips at the end of his comment.

"Okay, I will. Bye, Mr. Todd."

"Goodbye," Sweeney said as he walked out the door, not intending to listen to what the therapist said at all.


	2. Chapter 2: Mrs Lovett

**Chapter 2: Mrs. Lovett goes to Therapy**

'_Well, this'll be…interesting,' _Mrs. Lovett thought to herself and she pranced through the door to the therapist's office.

"Hello ma'am, my name is Dr. Codcen! How are you today?" Dr. Codcen said to this new client, trying to forget his last one.

"Hello Dr. Codcen, my name is Mrs. Nellie Lovett," Mrs. Lovett said, smiling a bit.

"Well, Mrs. Lovett, why don't we go into my office?" Dr. Codcen said walking to his office.

"All right, Dr.," Mrs. Lovett replied, following him.

"Okay, now would you mind telling me your problem."

"Ok, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I am insanely in love with a murderer and make meat pies out of people my partner kills,"

"Ok…" The doctor said, while thinking, _'What is with all these crazies!' _

"What should I do?"

"I suggest that you try to stop the person you love from killing these innocent people and stop making the pies. If that doesn't work, leave him."

"But I can't--" Mrs. Lovett exclaimed, speechless by the thought of leaving Sweeney.

"Shhhhh… you must leave him. I know it'll be devastating, but you must do it." The doctor said, trying to seem undstanding, though he was hysterical. What if these people really were murderers?

"Ok…" Mrs. Lovett said, trying to choke back her tears, but failing.

"Stay strong and goodbye. Best of luck," Codcen said, not daring to look up at the woman.

"Bye," Mrs. Lovett said, as she left. She didn't know about a lot, but she did know one thing: she was not leaving Sweeney.


	3. Chapter 3: Anthony

**Chapter 3: Anthony goes to Therapy**

'_This can't be too bad,'_ Anthony thought as he walked through the door that led to the therapist's waiting room.

As soon as he entered, he heard the doctor yell "NEXT!" Anthony assumed it was him, since no one else was in the waiting room. He entered the office. Dr. Codcen was rubbing his temples.

"Hello?" Anthony said.

"Oh, hello. Please sit down." Dr. Codcen said, not cheerfully. He was still rubbing his temples. _'Please don't be a crazy, please don't be a crazy, please don't be a crazy…'_ the doctor repeated to himself in his mind. "Now, sir, what is your problem?"

"Well, let's see… I walked down a street, saw a young lady for ten seconds, learned her name, and then started singing and professing my love to her. Then he guardian had me beaten for looking at her. And what did I do? "I seeeee you, Johannaaaaa!" Anthony sang the last sentence.

"Uh huh," the therapist said. What was with all these crazies?

"I managed to take her from her evil guardian, Judge Turpin. Now she and I are happily engaged."

"Oh, well… that's very nice," the therapist answered. "If your life is so nice, why did you come to me then?"

" Because, everyone thinks I'm a crazy stalker who'll use Johanna."

"Oh, ok. Well, just ignore them and continue your relationship. The rumors will eventually pass over."

Anthony then jumped up from his chair and wildly began to shake Dr. Codcen's hand. "Thank you, doctor. Thank you so much." Anthony then began to sing, "I SEEEEEEE YOU, JOHANNAAAAAAA!" as he skipped out the door.

"Ugh, I don't know how much more of these crazies I can take." the therapist then muttered to himself, wondering when this long day will finally end.


	4. Chapter 4: Johanna

**Chapter 4: Johanna goes to Therapy**

"Hmmmm, how bad can this be?" Johanna said thoughtfully as she pranced into the little waiting room.

"Excuse me? Anyone here?" Johanna said shyly as she walked towards the office hall.

"Yes, come in." Dr. Codcen said. He wanted the day to end already.

"Hello, I'm Johanna."

"Hi, Johanna. I'm Dr. Codcen. Sit down."

Johanna hesitantly sat down.

"Now, what's your problem, miss?

"My dad was taken away from me when I was a baby, my mom poisoned herself, so then a Judge became my guardian and locked me up in a room. Then he wanted to marry me, but I tried to run away. He then had me put in a asylum, where some random stranger that fell in love with me in 10 seconds saved me. Then my dad tried to kill me because he didn't recognize me."

"Oh. Wow." The poor doctor felt like shooting himself.

"Yes." Johanna replied solemnly.

"Uh, I guess just leave it all behind and start a new life with your lover.

"Umm, ok. Thank you, doctor."

"Mmhmm," was all the doctor said back.

As Johanna walked out, she wondered, "Hmmm- maybe I should've told him my dad was a murderer. Oh well!"


	5. Chapter 5: Pirelli

**NOTES:**I know Pirelli dies, but in the story- no one dies because they need to come to the therapist. Also, Pirelli fakes being Italian in the play , so that's why he fakes being Italian in the story. Also in the movie, he is repeatedly hit with a teapot so that's why he's hit in the story (These notes are for the people who watched the musical instead of the movie and vice-versa.) Sorry it took me longer for this chapter, I was busy. And the song in the beginning is supposed to be sung to the tune in the beginning of "The Contest" if you haven't noticed. OK- enjoy!

**Chapter 5: Signor/ Senor Pirelli goes to the Therapist**

Dr. Codcen was taking an Advil when he was startled by a patient bursting in. The patient barged in singing, "I AM ALDOFO PIRELLI, THE KING OF THE BARBERS, THE BARBER OF KINGS, E BUON GIORNO, GOOD DAY, I BLOW YOU A KISS! *kiss* AND I, THE SO FAMOUS PIRELLI, I WISH-A TO KNOW-A IF YOU ARE THE THERAPISSSSSST! ARE YOU THIS?"

"Uhhhh…yes?" The therapist replied. This had to be the ultimate crazy!

"Very well," Pirelli replied- in a Italian accent.

"What brings me the pleasure of your visit, sir?" Dr. Codcen said wearily. He so wanted this appointment to end.

"I tell you my problems, no?" Pirelli kept up his façade.

"Yes." Dr. Codcen closed his eyes.

"All right. Let us begin. First, I pretend I am Italian for business, I use a young boy as my slave, I make a elixir that apparently smells like piss, I lost a challenge to a stranger and had to pay him 5 pounds, I then tried to blackmail him by revealing that he was supposed to be in jail, then the stranger- named Sweeney Todd- hit me repeatedly with a teapot. I then was shoved into a dresser- but managed to escape with my life."

"Did you say Sweeney Todd?" Dr. Codcen knew that name. Are these crazies all connected in a way?

"Yes- that man is a psychopath! Luckily, I'm not pyshco like him! "

"Right…" was all that the therapist managed to say. How come all these crazies know each other?

" So, what do you suggest, sir?" Pirelli asked, wondering why the therapist seemed so disturbed.

"Oh, yes. I suggest you leave that town- start over. People will not know your past history. Stop making the elixir- and stop with the Italian accent. Also, don't blackmail- it's bad. The young boy? Treat him kinder- be nice to him. And stay away from Mr. Todd- he doesn't seem very stable, to be honest."

"So, you want me to run away from my problems?"

"No, no, not run away. Just start over."

"Oh. Ok. Thank you, dear man. And if I may be so bold, I see you are developing a bald spot- a bit of Pirelli's Miracle Elixir will grow that hair right back!"

The doctor felt his head- "I don't feel a bald-"

"It's in the back. Here. Take a bottle. A token of appreciation." Pirelli pulled out a bottle from his coat pocket and handed it to Dr. Codcen.

"Ok- thank you."

"Your very welcome" Pirelli replied with a smile as he left.

Dr. Codcen smelled the bottle. Ah- it really did smell like piss. He threw the bottle into the trashcan, then leaned back in his office chair and closed his eyes. _'Ahhh, half the day's done. Almost there.' _Codcen thought as he drifted off the sleep.


	6. Chapter 6: Toby

**Chapter 6: Toby Goes to Therapy**

Codcen was still sleeping when Toby walked in.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir?" Toby said as he walked in quietly. "Sir, are you awake? SIR!" Toby said as he shook the snoring man awake.

"Hmmmm? Oh- right, work." Codcen said through closed eyes. He then started to sit up, yawn, and rub the sleep from his eyes. "Aren't you a little young to go to therapy, son?" The doctor said, attempting a friendly smile.

"Yes, I may be a tad bit young, but I am afraid I have been through quite an ordeal."

"Oh. Would you mind telling me about your 'ordeal'?" Codcen said, thinking this boys 'ordeals' would involve normal teenage things.

"Alright. I have never had the chance to meet my parents, since I was taken from them when I was a very young boy to work for a strange man. This man was very unkind to me and treated me like a slave. He made me wear a nasty wig-"

"Hold on, can you please explain this man to me?" Dr. Codcen interrupted. This man the boy was talking about sounded oddly like the patient before.

"Oh yes, Signor Pirelli. He treated me horribly. He pretended to be Italian, he isn't! He even changed his name, it's not Signor Pirelli- it's Daniel O'Higgins! He was the best barber in town, 'till Mr. Todd beat him in a shaving contest. After he lost, he beat me terribly! To redeem his pride and reputation, he brought me to where Mr. Todd resides- where a kind lady by the name of Mrs. Lovett fed me some of her meat pies."

Codcen froze. His theory was right. They were all connected.

"Anyways, Signor Pirelli went upstairs to "congratulate" Mr. Todd- but never came down. Then Mrs. Lovett took care of me, though she had me help out with her shop, which strangely become popular after Mr. Todd's victory. I then became suspicious of Mr. Todd, he never seemed quite right to me. My suspicions proved right. I was working on the pies, and deciding to eat one. What's one missing pie? I then found a human toe in it. I then was frightened and hid in the drainage system. Soon after, Sweeney, covered in blood, came down and threw Mrs. Lovett into a fire! While he went on his frenzy, I was still hiding. I then managed to take Mrs. Lovett out from the fire. Though badly burned, I managed to bring her to the hospital. I then came back and attempted to kill Mr. Todd- but he managed to somehow save himself. Now he wants me dead, so I have to live with a happy young couple, named Anthony and Johanna, since I am no longer safe with Mr. Todd. Though Mrs. Lovett visits me regularly."

"Wow. You are right that IS quite an ordeal." Dr. Codcen was shocked that someone so young could go through something so traumatic. But then again, this boy was surrounded by crazies, so maybe he shouldn't be so shocked.

"Well, doctor. What should I do?"

"Umm. I think you should stay away from Mr. Todd, he doesn't seem stable. And make sure that Mrs. Lovett is ok- we don't want her to be thrown in a fire again. As for living with this couple, I think you are much better off living with them. They seem to have a more stable environment for you."

"Alright, thank you, sir. I will definitely take you advice." Toby said as he started to get up from the chair.

"It's my job." Codcen replied.


	7. Chapter 7: Judge Turpin

**Chapter 7: Judge Turpin **

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**A/N-** Sorry I took longer with this chapter, first I was busy, then a virus wiped out my chapter, so I had to re-do it. Thnx for all the reviews and hope u enjoy!!

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Codcen was reading his newspaper when he heard faint footsteps making it's way down the narrow hall towards his office. He then heard the footsteps stop abruptly at his door, and the doctor hesitantly turned around to see who his next patient was. He saw a older man with gray hair and very flashy clothing standing in his doorway.

"I'm here for my therapy session. Are you Mr. Codcen?" the judge asked with the frown on his face that seemed to be permanently stuck there. Then something near the old man's neck caught the therapist's sharp eye. It was several scars, like he was stabbed repeatedly. A chill ran down Codcen's back as he thought of the barber's cold hard stare and threatening eyes.

"Yes," Codcen replied still shock, staring at the scars.

"Are you gandering at me?" Judge Turpin asked, noticing the therapist's gaze.

"What? No!" The therapist quickly replied, breaking his reverie.

"You gandered. Yes sir, you gandered!" The judge took a step towards the tired doctor.

"No, sir, I didn't" The therapist replied, not wanting to start an argument with the man.

"Hmph. Very well then," Turpin replied as he sat on the seat opposite of Dr. Codcen. "Shall I start?"

"Yes" the therapist replied unenthusiastically. Here it goes again.

The judge took a deep breath and began. "I am a extremely cruel judge, I have a henchman named the Beadle and had him attack a sailor that gandered at my Johanna, I put an innocent man in jail because I was jealous and wanted his wife, tried to marry her but she poisoned herself with arsenic and then tried to marry her daughter named Johanna. But the sailor stole Johanna from me and the Benjamin man escaped from jail and tried to kill me. "

By this point, the therapist was no longer surprised to hear news this shocking. In fact, he would be more shocked if it didn't happen hear it.

"Excuse me, who is Benjamin?" Dr. Codcen asked, confused.

"He seeked revenge on me because I stole his pretty woman. Oh pretty women. He was a innocent man who I sent to jail because of jealousy. But since he has escaped, he calls himself Todd. Sweeney Todd."

The therapist did nothing but flinch at this point.

"What do you recommend I do?"

"Umm, I suggest that you quit your job as a judge, seeing that you are a cruel one. As for Johanna, she seems to be happy with the sailor, leave them be. As for Sweeney, steer well clear of him. He can definitely hold a grudge."

"I have already done all this," Turpin replied to the therapist's advice, annoyed that he was given advice so obvious.

"Well, then. Keep doing this and you'll be alright in no time." The therapist assured, not used to having someone question his instructions.

"Are you saying that there is something wrong with me?" the judge said to the flustered therapist, standing up and knocking over the leather chair in the process.

"No! What I meant was-" the poor therapist replied, but the judge interrupted him.

"That is it, sir! You gander at me, then insist there is something wrong with me. I am leaving!" The judge yelled as he briskly walked out of the small room, leaving the bewildered therapist staring after him.

"I hate my life. I hate my life. I hate my life…" he said as he started to rub his temples, attempting to stop the building headache from exploding.


	8. Chapter 8: Beadle Bamford

A/N- I just wanted to try something new with this chapter, so I hope you like it. Sorry my chapters are taking longer- I get writer's block and am busy. I am almost done this story too, considering I have done almost all the character's. So, with that said, thanks for the people who read and reviewed and spread word! Enjoy! : D

**Chapter 8: Beadle Bamford**

Codcen was pondering about getting another job when a new patient came through the door. _'Oh great, just when I thought the day couldn't get any worse- it does! Just my luck.' _The poor guy thought to himself sympathetically. He turned his cushioned leather office chair around to see who was standing at the door. The first thing he knew, he was smacked in the face and on the floor. Codcen he felt some pain in his cheek, and found it was slightly bleeding, but he was all right. He blinked and looked up to see his attacker. Who he saw was a short, portly man with a top hat, and a elaborate walking stick.

"Who are-" The therapist began, but was interrupted by the stranger.

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT JUDGE TURPIN!!" The man screamed and raised his stick to strike the therapist again.

"Wait! Don't!" The therapist pleaded, and strangely enough, the man stopped. "Who are you and why did you hit me?" Dr. Codcen.

"I, sir, am Beadle Bamford, the Judge's assistant. And you have no right to insult someone so great as Sir Turpin!" He raise his arm as if to strike the therapist again! Desperate and panicking, Codcen quickly blurted out the first thing he could think of, he didn't want to be hit with the walking stick again. " Hold on! Do you want to talk about it?" Though he thought it was unlikely, he hoped it would work.

Strangely enough, it did. Beadle slowly lowered his arm. "Well, alright" but he quickly added "but you better make sure you do not insult the judge again!" He then made a slapping motion with his cane, as if he was hitting Dr. Codcen.

He then sat down in the chair. Codcen cautiously stood up and sat in his chair, still alert. He obviously didn't trust this bug person.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" Codcen asked, wanting to get on this guy's good side.

"I am the assistant/ henchman of an extremely cruel judge; I do whatever he says; I carry around this heavy walking stick and attack people with it;" Codcen then glanced at the stick and noticed there was a spike at the end- he definitely wanted to get on this guy's good side. "And quite frankly, I am a creep in need of a good dental plan, wardrobe, and bath." It was true, the guy had bad personal hygiene.

"Well, I suggest you leave this judge and start your own life, he isn't your master, and don't hurt or kill people with that cane- you can get arrested. As for hygiene- get a shower, go to a dentist, and get some new clothes."

"Hmmm, interesting… okay, I'll try" Beadle then smiled, exposing his rotting teeth and bad breath. "I will go and start my new life!"

"Good luck then." Dr. Codcen called after the man. Then, feeling the pain in his head return he started to search in his desk for a band- aid.

"Ha ha, like I'll leave a man as amazing Master Turpin…" Bamford said to himself as he walked out of the office building to find the judge.


	9. Chapter 9: Beggar Woman Lucy

A/N: Check the Reviews for Chapter 2 for an Alternate Ending for Mrs. Lovett!! Sorry this chapter is a bit short, but she's crazy, so it's kind of hard to make it long, plus my brain is fried from studying for finals! XD

**Chapter 9: Beggar Woman/ Lucy**

With an ice pack on his head, Dr. Codcen both felt and looked worn out. "Hmm, haven't had a patient come in for a good hour, maybe it's time to go home and take a nice, long bath." He closed his eyes and smiled, reassured at the thought of finally going home for the day.

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Just as he picked up his suit case and started to walk out of the door, a ragged creature jumped in his path. "AHHH!" Codcen let out a startled yelp as the creature continued into his office singing some strange song. Then, he realized it was his next patient. '_Joy."_ He said as he felt self-pity. And sat down in his chair. Let the torture begin.

"Ma'am, Are you alright?" Dr. Codcen asked rather hesitantly, she didn't seem only crazy, but rather crazy and insane." "Alms, alms…" he heard her mummer as she swaggered around the room like a drunken pirate.

"Ms?"

"How would ya like a little muff dear? A little jig-jig, A little bounce around the bush! Wouldn't ya like to push me parsley? It looks to me, dear, that you've got plenty there to push!" She yelled, while lifting up the bottom of her dress ever so slightly. Then she went back to being quiet. "Alms, alms for a desperate woman!"

"Ummm, alright…" Codcen said as he cautiously approached the ragged, insane woman. "May I help you?"

"ALMS! ALMS! FOR A MISERABLE WOMAN!!!" She shrieked as she ran out of the door.

"That must've been the oddest patient I have EVER encountered …" Codcen muttered as he walked around the office to see if anything was damaged or stolen. "Great, now I am talking to myself! All these crazies are making ME a crazy!" Codcen said as he threw up his hands, as is he surrendered.


	10. Chapter 10: Mr Fogg

**Chapter 10: Mr. Fogg**

As Mr. Codcen reluctantly cleaned up his office, he pondered what had just occurred in his office. "_Who was that? What was that song? She is NO DOUBT a crazy!!" _He thought and let out satisfied sigh as the office was once again as clean as it was before the crazy lady.

He sat down and picked up as newspaper, and looked at the clock on his desk. It read 5:18. Just 42 minutes and he'd be out of this asylum-like office. "Hmmm… an asylum. That's where all of today's patients belong" Codcen said with a small chuckle. "Maybe I should send them there. Yes, that's where they belong. Crazies are obviously not mentally stable. And the non-mentally-stable go to asylums…" Codcen explained to himself aloud. "DON'T DO IT! PEOPLE IN ASYLUMS COME BACK AND…. AND TURN ON YOU!" A voice in his head screamed. Wait a minute, that wasn't a voice in his head- it was a person. Next thing he saw was a beaten man in tattered clothing- covered in cuts and bruises.

Codcen jumped up out of surprise at the state of this man. "My God- what happened to you?" he exclaimed. "One word: asylum," the man replied, trying to catch his breath.

Codcen gave the man a curious look and motioned for him to sit down on a chair.

"I am Mr. Fogg; owner of Fogg's Asylum. My asylum housed insane women who are no use in the world anymore. When human hair is needed, we use the girls' hair- depending on their hair color.

"One day I got a young lady from the Judge Turpin," Fogg ignored the therapist's shudder at the name 'Turpin' " She had beautiful orange-blond hair, I knew she would be good use to my wigs. But a few days later, a young man asked for orange-blond hair, so I brought him to the room that she was in. Next thing I knew, a gun was pointed at me and the woman was rushed away by the boy. Then the all the other women in the room started to…attack me!" Mr. Fogg gave a disturbed look into mid-air while he relived the tale. "I barely escaped, and I ran into the first building I saw, which was this one."

"Oh, well- that is quite a disturbing story, Mr. Fogg."

"Yes, well… I hope they didn't escape. Hundreds of crazy women roaming the streets is choas. I certainly hope that they didn't follow me here."

"They…might've…followed…you…here?!?!" Dr. Codcen said, shaking with anger.

"Quite possible." Mr. Fogg said, embarrassed and wringing his hands.

"Out."

"Mr. Codcen-"

"OUTT!!" Codcen said, storming towards Mr. Fogg.

Mr. Fogg scrambled out of his seat. "You know, Codcen- you belong in a aslyum if you can't deal with people's problems." And with that statement, Fogg ran out of the office.

"I most certainly DO NOT belong in asylum!" Codcen said as he calmed down.


	11. Chapter 11: Finale Part 1

**Chapter 11: The Group; Part 1 of the Finale**

(A/N- Well, only one more chapter to go!! Yeah, sorry it took me so long to write a chapter!)

Codcen had had it. He was done. He couldn't deal with the crazies! _Why did I even choose this job?_ He pondered ruefully and he shoved his framed certificates into a small duffel bag. He could care less if the glass broke or not.

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As he finished up packing up his personal belongings, leaving nothing but the chairs and desk, he proceeded to head out of the office door for what he hoped was the last time.

But , just as he walked out of his office, he heard footsteps. But not footsteps of just one person. _Of course not one person, that would be too easy! _Codcen thought and he reluctantly pushed open his office door and switched on his lights, then dropped his bag and flopped into his chair- waiting for the next person, or rather, people.

What he saw was definitely not one person, but many. And they weren't strangers or new patients- they were his past patients from earlier that day! He couldn't believe it. He knew he had bad luck, but this bad?

Almost everyone in the group was bickering with another person, and they seemed not to notice that Dr. Codcen was wearing an expression as if he had just found out he was being lead to a gruesome and ugly death. Everyone eventually sat down and realized they were once again in the office of the therapist.

Rather gruffly and impatiently, the therapist said "Well, what are you all doing here? Didn't I help you earlier today? Anyways, my shift is over, GOOD BYE!" And without another word, Codcen jumped up and strode over to his duffel bag, but stopped dead in his tracks. Someone was holding a blade to his neck. And then he heard his first patient of the day growl menacingly, "Get back in the chair. Now."

Codcen cautiously did as he was told and sat in the chair. Then he said to the group of patients, "Well, what are you problems?" Immediately, he regretted asking the question. Everyone was talking at once.

"YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!" The judge accused Sweeney.

"AND ME!" The Beadle followed up.

"AND ME! YOUR OWN DAUGHTER!" Johanna yelled.

"AND ME! YOUR SAILING, SINGING FRIEND!" Anthony continued.

"AND ME! YOUR TRUE LOVE!" Mrs. Lovett blurted out.

"Love?" Sweeney asked, confused.

"You…don't …love…me?" Mrs. Lovett asked, tears in her eyes.

"I LOVE YOU, MUM!" Toby said to her, but was ignored.

"No," Sweeney said, glaring at the ground.

Mrs. Lovett wailed and started to cry in the therapist shoulder. Codcen started to pat her back awkwardly, saying "It's ok…it's alright. He loves you…"

**MEANWHILE…**

"YOU BEAT ME UP!" Anthony yelled at the Beadle.

"YOU! YOU…YOU SAILOR! YOU GANDERED AT JOHANNA! AND YOU, JOHANNA! YOU RAN AWAY FROM ME!!!" Judge Turpin yelled at the young couple.

"WELL, YOU PUT ME IN AN ASYLUM! WHAT'D YOU EXPECT!?" Johanna yelled back.

"GANDERING ISN'T THE ONLY CRIME THIS BOY COMMITTED-" Fogg began, pointing at Anthony.

"Wait, when did looking become a crime?" Anthony interjected.

"-HE RELEASED MY OWN ASYLUM PATIENTS ON ME!" The asylum owner finished.

"THE FEIN!" Turpin agreed. "HEY! YOU DOCTOR! WHO'S RIGHT HERE?" The Judge barked at Codcen.

"Well… you shouldn't have beaten up Anthony…" the doctor began warily.

Meanwhile, another tornado of yells was going on.

"YOU, YOU PROVED ME A FAKE AND STOLE ALL MY CUSTOMERS. THEN YOU HIT ME WITH A TEAPOT AND STUFFED ME IN A CHEST! THEN YOU PARTNER STOLE MY SERVANT-"

"HEY! I'm not a servant! Right, Mr. Codcen?" Toby said and he, Pirelli, Sweeney, and Mrs. Lovett all turned their attention to Dr. Codcen.

"Technically, you are. However…" the rest of Codcen's sentence, was unimportant.

"SEE? EVEN THE THERAPIST SAYS YOU'RE A SERVANT!" Pirelli screamed.

"I never actually said that…" Codcen interrupted.

"ANYWAYS, NOT ONLY DID SHE TAKE THE BOY, SHE MADE THE WORST PIES EVER!" Pirelli finished off. Mrs. Lovett, outraged, stood up. "I DO NOT MAKE THE WORST PIES EVER! JUST THE WORST PIES IN LONDON! But even then they were pretty good, right Mr. T?" She said the last sentence sweetly, and turned to Sweeney.

"No. Your pies tasted like feet." Todd said, with no emotion what so ever.

"HEY! I PUT A LOT OF WORK IN THOSE PIES! WE EVEN HAD TO KILL PEOPLE FOR THOSE PIES!" Mrs. Lovett yelled, obviously hurt.

"I liked them, mum!" Toby called, but was, again, ignored. Then, suddenly, as if coming out of a trance, Sweeney glared at Toby and started towards him with the knife. "YOU! BOY! YOU NEARLY KILLED ME! WITH MY OWN BLADE! HOW DARE YOU! I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!!" He then raised his knife, ready to strike the child.

Codcen panicked. He pushed Toby out of the way and screamed "NO! STOP! DON'T KILL THE BOY!" and surprisingly, Sweeney lowered the blade, and stared off into space. "Of course, don't kill the boy. He meant no harm…"

"Uh, who are you talking to?" Pirelli asked, but was ignored by Sweeney.

"I think I'll leave now." Sweeney said, still staring into space, and he walked out of the office.

Turpin stood up and said "I think I'll leave too. Obviously, you were not successful in stopping Mr. Todd from his killing, so therefore, you are not a good therapist. Right?"

Everyone murmured their agreement or disagreement, and stood up to leave. People like the Beadle, glared at Codcen on their way out, while others like Anthony and Johanna gave him apologetic looks.

Once they were all out, Codcen was shaking. "THAT'S IT! I HAD IT!" and he stormed out of the office, slamming the door shut.

_**TO BE CONTINUED…**_


	12. Chapter 12: Finale Part 2

**Chapter 12: Dr. Mattfield; Part 2 of the finale**

(A/N- I can't believe this is the final chapter! Thanks for all your reviews, really appreciated it! Anyways, on with the story!)

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Codcen ignored his secretary's questions as he stomped out of the office building, down to the virtually empty parking lot, where his red Toyota Camry sat alone. He then got in and started the car. Then, deciding he needed a ride to calm his thoughts, Codcen drove pointlessly around his small town, hoping his mind would somehow bring him somewhere helpful.

After what seemed like hours, Codcen stopped at a shopping center on the side of a highway. He looked at the shops: Justin's Barbershop, Vonn's Pizzeria, Tiger Martial Arts Studio, and a small little store in the corner without a sign. Codcen stared at the little store in the corner, as if it was drawing him in. Then, as if in a trance, Codcen parked and walked into the building.

Codcen, still in a daze-like state, walked into the bizarre store. What he saw, to his surprise, was a normal office. In the corner of the room there was several empty chairs, arranged like a waiting room. Right next to the chairs was some little plants, and a coffee table with some outdated issues of PEOPLE and National Geographic. Across from the little "waiting room", a petite little woman sat at a office chair behind a mahogany desk, where she was writing down something in a little booklet. When she heard the door shut behind Codcen, she looked up and said to him, "Hello sir, I'll be right with you". She had a heavy accent, as Codcen immediately observed. He then sat down in one of the little chairs and looked at the magazines sitting on the table. 'Britney Spears goes BALD!' read the cover of the tabloid. "Hmph, like that's news" Codcen muttered under his breath. Nonetheless, he picked up the magazine and skimmed through it, pushing the fact that he still has absolutely no clue why he's sitting in this strange office in the first place completely out of his mind.

For what seemed like the first time all day, Codcen was relaxed and didn't have to think about the various crazies he had endured all day. _'They're gone... I never have to see they're faces again!' _This brought peace to Codcen's mind, and he smiled.

"Sir?" The secretary called, bringing Codcen out of his reverie. "Sir, are you here to make an appointment?"

"Uhhhh...." Codcen nervously began. He had completely forgotten he had no idea what this place's purpose was. Though he guessed it was some type of doctor's office, judging by how the lady said 'appointment'. But for all he knows, he could've stepped into a nose specialist's office. "Uhhhh, I know how this sounds, but I actually don't know what this place is. I just, err, was curious." He could feel his face burning with embarrassment.

"Oh, uh, this is a therapist's office." She replied, confused.

_'Really? Oh Good Lord, of all the places I could wander to, I wander to a THERAPIST'S OFFICE?! I do not need a therapist, I AM a therapist, and a pretty good one at that! Hmmmm... but on the other hand....I have spent a whole day with undoubtedly the craziest of the crazies. And I'm a therapist, I should know. Maybe a little consolation from a fellow therapist would be good for my being.'_ He thought to himself, and with that, he said, "Oh. Perfect. I would love a little therapy. May I make a appointment please?"

"Ummm, yeah... Dr. Mattfield has several patients coming in, but their appointment isn't for another hour. So would you like a quick session right now?" Dr. Codcen could tell that she was quite hesitant, almost afraid, despite her heavy accent.

_'Hah! She must think I'm crazy! Well, she hasn't even SEEN crazy until she sees those nut jobs!' _Codcen thought to himself as he said "Perfect. I'd love a little therapy. I got a lot going on up here," He ended the sentence with a smile as he pointed to his head.

"Uh, alright, let me just make sure Dr. Mattfield's ready and then you could head right on in." The confused woman replied and reached over to the telephone on her desk. She then dialed a number and put the phone to her ear. The other person on the line picked up almost immediately and the conversation was quiet and brief. The secretary hung up and said to Codcen, "Yeah, Dr. Mattfield is ready. Just go down the hall and she's the first door on the right. Room 154."

"Oh, uh thanks." He replied as he got up and went into the room that she said.

What he saw when he went into the room was the typical therapist's office: chairs for the patients, along with a chair for the therapist, certificates and degrees hanging on the wall, several inspirational posters on the wall, a desk covered with notepads and other essentials for a therapist. That led him to seeing the therapist herself. She was relatively young, no older than 30; she had rectangular, black rimmed glasses, big hoop earrings, and long mane of red hair.

Codcen closed the door behind him and Mattfield looked up, and said in a cheerful voice "Oh, you're the one Sonya must've told me was here! Sit down, sir, we don't have much time- an hour at the longest. Now, what is your problem?"

He couldn't help but chuckle quietly to himself as he reviewed the situation. Here he was, in a therapist's office- about to talk to a therapist that reminded him so much of himself. Well, he was like her, before THEY came into his life. With that in mind, Codcen began to tell his story.

"Well, I know how this sounds... but I'm actually an a therapist as well... but today, I met the ultimate group of crazies... Trust me, you haven't even SEEN crazy until you've seen them!! One-he had skunk hair! And his girlfriend! She cooked pies... out of people!! And a short little man hit me with his stick!! And this fake Italian! He gave me elixir that smelled revolting! And a beggar woman! Alms! And this boy saw this girl for like a second he sings about her! And... and..." He stopped, out of breath, and looked at Dr. Mattfield. She looked like she just saw a flying T-rex float past her window in a vanilla-scented teal tutu.

After a moment of much-needed recovery, she took a deep breath and nervously laughed. "Uhhh, wow... a little more explanation please?"

"Okay, I know you probably think I'm insane," he began as he pretended not to notice her nod of agreement, "but this morning, I walked into my office, thinking today will be like any other day. But nooooo, lucky me- they were all completely INSANE! And I'm sure they are connected some way or another. One man, he killed innocent people- while singing! And another woman, she came in and talked about how she was in love with a murderer and makes pies out of people. And this guy beat me up with his walking stick, talking about how I disrespected this Judge guy. And this woman came in my room yelling something about alms. And this guy with a fake Italian accent talked about how he made some disgusting elixir, and-"

"Alright, I think I heard enough." Mattfield interrupted, "I'll give you the benefit of the doubt, and believe you. Uhhh, that's quite a hard situation, Dr....?"

"Dr. Codcen. My name is Dr. Greg Codcen. And I'm not lying, nor am I hallucinating! It's all true!"

"Uh, sure it is, Dr. Codcen," She replied, not bothering to hide the fact she thought he was insane.

"It's TRUE!! THEY ARE THE CRAZIES! NOT ME!" Codcen said, hysterical at this point.

"Sir, are you drunk or something? Because if I may be so bold, you seem a bit... uh... crazy yourself." Dr. Mattfield said, a bit concerned.

"What? No- I'm not drunk! I'm telling the truth! Oh, never mind- why should I expect anyone to understand!" Codcen practically yelled, and he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of her office- ignoring her calls. He walked out of the hall and into the main office, where he encountered his worse fear.

Codcen couldn't believe his horrific luck. All of them were there. Sitting in the room, all chatting and bickering amongst each other- while Sonya sat behind her desk, looking like she was using it for shelter against the crazies that inhabited Codcen's very office just a few hours earlier. At least someone seemingly agreed they were crazies.

Dr. Codcen , understandably shocked, said in a quiet voice "Oh my God" and just stood at the door that led to the hall- frozen. That is when someone in the group, the freakishly happy stalker kid to be exact, spotted Mr. Codcen standing there staring at them with complete terror on his face, but seemed oblivious to it and said "Ah, Mr. Codcen- a pleasure to see you again!" Anthony's greeting caused the rest of the crowd to notice their former therapist's presence.

They all had different reactions, as well. Some, such as Johanna and Anthony, smiled and waved at him. Others, like Beadle Bamford and Sweeney Todd gave him a look of pure hatred. Despite their different reactions, they all had something similar: all of them yelled at him. Among the many voices, Codcen could distinguish some.

"HEY CODCEN! DID YOU TRY THE ELIXIR? IT IS GOOD, NO?" Pirelli said in his cheesy fake accent.

"ALMS! ALMS!" The beggar woman yelled aimlessly.

"HOW ARE YOU, SIR?" Anthony asked politely, still paying no notice to all the voices around him.

"HEY! HEY! WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE!?" Dr. Mattfield came into the office, obviously confused.

And Codcen couldn't take it any longer.

He took a deep breath and yelled, "QUIIIIIIIEEEETTTT!" And to his surprise- everyone listened, and it was quiet. But Codcen wasn't done yelling yet. He intended to let his TRUE feelings be heard.

(A/N- the following idea was given to me by Spitfire47)

He turned to Dr. Mattfield and said angrily, "Alright, Dr. whatever, you think I'm lying about the crazies? Well, here they are- in your very office! Listen to their stories and then tell me I'm crazy!"

Codcen then went around to everyone in the group of "crazies", and gave them a piece of his mind, starting with the crazy murderer that was that started the wave of crazies.

"You! Skunk Hair! How 'bout you go get yourself a girlfriend that you WON'T throw in a fire- and stop killing everyone in sight? Not everyone deserves to die!"

He then went over to 'Skunk Hair's' little girlfriend.

"Why don't you grow a spine? And go and find a man that loves you back, and I don't know, maybe isn't a murderer perhaps!? "

Then to Anthony.

"Oy! Creepy freakishly-happy Clay Aiken wannabe! Why don't you get to know someone first before you start singing about them? Just because you see someone for 3 seconds doesn't make them 'the one'! Oh, and P.S- you ARE a creepy stalker that will use Johanna!"

Next to the fake Italian.

"Sir, I have some good advice for you. You're NOT on Jersey Shore- so stop trying to fake being Italian. Also, your elixir does smell like piss, face it."

The Judge was next.

"Dude, lighten up! Not everyone deserves the death penalty! And just because someone happens to look in your direction- doesn't mean they are 'gandering' at you! Oh yeah, when you want a girl- putting her husband in jail isn't really the best way to get them. And trying to marry her daughter when you're old enough to be her father is KIND OF a creeper alert."

Codcen saw the creepy, short man with the walking stick grow angry as he started to stomp over to Codcen- but the man was stopped dead in his tracks when Codcen gave him a death look and said in an acidic tone, "Don't. Even. Think. About. It. Now, walk away from me- and get that stick away from me. Oh, and why don't you go and get a sense of hygiene, perhaps? I can easily say you are the most revolting man I have ever seen. And while your at it- stop by and get a life, because beating up people with a walking stick for some Judge who probably finds you just as revolting as I do isn't really what I call a life."

Next was the beggar woman- who was trembling and looking at the ground, while quietly muttering "Alms... alms..." She then suddenly acknowledged Codcen's presence as she looked up at him, smiled slightly as she tilted her head and asked "Hey, don't I know you?"

Codcen looked at her for a few moments and muttered, "Forget it, you're beyond hope," and walked to his last patient from earlier that day. "Oy! You! Mr. Fogg! It's kind of funny, YOU own a asylum- yet there is still all these crazies all around you! Why don't you put these folks here in there? They certainly need to be there!"

Codcen finished his rampage, and looked around the room full of people. Sonya was hiding behind her desk, Mattfield stared at him in pure amazement, Johanna seemed frightened as she hid behind Anthony, while others like Judge Turpin and Todd stared at him with pure hatred.

"Ummmm, Codcen- are you... done?" Dr. Mattfield asked.

"Yeah, I am. Now if you excuse me... I think I'll go on a vacation... I'll definitely say I deserved it. Well, bye!" Codcen said and laughed, instantly in a good mood, acting like nothing ever happened as he walked out the door- ignoring the stares of confusion.

"Hmph. Crazy." Dr. Mattfield muttered, and everyone else murmured in agreement.

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EPILOGUE:

Codcen quit his life as a therapist the next day, and moved to Hawaii, where he began his own surfboard shack on the beach.

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(A/N- Alright, that's it! Story's over. Awwww, how depressing! Thanks for all the reviews and once again thanks to Spitfire47 for the idea of Codcen blowing up at everyone. Alright, bye! :D)

~Deppfreak99

Peace. Love. Happiness. SPREAD WORD.


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